How Gay Men Can Become Parents in the Netherlands

International surrogacy

The most direct route to a biological child. Domestic commercial surrogacy is illegal, so this means working with an agency abroad — commonly in the US or Canada — then completing a Dutch court process to recognize the foreign birth and secure legal parenthood. The most expensive and legally involved path, but organizations like Men Having Babies specifically support gay men through it.

Co-parenting

Many gay men build intentional families with a lesbian couple or single woman, sharing custody and parenting responsibilities across households. Dutch law recognizes a maximum of two legal parents, so a secondary parent typically needs a court guardianship process rather than automatic legal status. Networks like Meer dan Gewenst exist specifically to help people find compatible co-parents.

Foster care

Domestic adoption of unrelated infants is extremely rare in the Netherlands, but foster care is accessible and openly welcomes LGBTQ+ applicants, via Pleegzorg Nederland. This is rarely a fast path to a permanent placement, but it is a realistic and needed route.